Archive for the etc Category

Merry Christmas!!!!

Posted in etc, pozzie life with tags , , on December 24, 2010 by iamhivpositive

Sizzling HOT Christmas to you guys… stay safe!!!!

xoxo,
JunJun

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Stars and Spark!

Posted in etc, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 11, 2010 by iamhivpositive

It was dark and cold… the cool air from the mountains makes me chill… as I look into the other side, I saw tiny lights from the city… they are so small that they can pass as stars from where I am standing… I took a deep breathe as I am overwhelmed with the view, it was just so… romantic? perfect? … or it was a moment of appreciation… appreciate that I am still alive and was given a chance to see this view… call me drama queen and all… but that’s what I really feel…

Earlier…

Slowly, I started to hear noises from the outside… I’m awake. Today is a very special day I told myself, I should make it a good day no matter what. Smiling, I opened my eyes. It was still early to prepare for work so I just decided to stay in the bed. I cuddled with the pillows under my blanket and just embraced the excitement of what’s going to happen that day.

When I finally realized that nothing special is going to happen that day since I didn’t plan anything, I was able to calm myself. I just smiled and started to prepare for work.

At work was nothing special either, though towards the end of my shift, my boss asked our team to head to a fast food chain and eat. Whilst eating, he explained that the reason for the treat was because it’s my special day. I was touched and everyone greeted me. I honestly wanted to cry but they started cracking jokes that stopped my tears from falling…

As the night falls, I waited for a friend who asked me if he could take me out for dinner. He picked me up from the office and as I sat myself on the passenger seat, he handed me a box. He asked me to open it. It was a box full of chocolate. I smiled. I like chocolates! I mean, who doesn’t right? I was touched by his sweetness… we just met 2 weeks ago and I’m surprised by his knowledge about my favourites.

He told me that we are gonna go to a place which can make me happy, I was intrigued. What is it this time? But I was excited, obviously, I think he did a research about me. After parking, he lead me to a sort of like a bazaar but as we come nearer, I hear dogs barking. And as we entered the bazaar my heart melt as I see little puppies… I LOOOVEEE dogs! And he knows it too! He toured me in the bazaar showing me all the cute puppies like he is a tour guide. After which he asked me if I would like to have dinner already and I said yes.

We crossed the street and entered the restaurant just in front of the bazaar. I remember telling him that I like filipino foods maybe the reason why we are eating in one that day. The food was very delicious and again, I was… impressed and touched by all of what he did. When we finished eating… we headed back to the car park and decided to go home.

On our way home, I suddenly felt alarmed and worried… the road that he is taking is not leading south… it’s somewhere else… I started feeling scared… after all of what he did, I don’t know what he is capable of doing… call me paranoid and judgemental or what, but that time, it didn’t really feel right…

he drived fast and it was already late… I don’t know where were going and whenever I ask him, he just tells me to wait…

Birthday!

Posted in etc with tags on November 4, 2010 by iamhivpositive

It’s my birthday today… =) yun lang… hehehe

Travel!

Posted in etc, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts, travel with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 26, 2010 by iamhivpositive

If there is one thing that I would really love to do but can’t, besides going back to school, it will have to be traveling. Believe it or not, I haven’t been anywhere outside Metro Manila ever since I was in High School? Except of course when we have team buildings in Pansol, Laguna or in Puerto Galera, but whenever we have that, it’s still more of work and less of relaxation. I would want to just travel and just relax… or just have some personal time to think and reflect…

A friend from Canada who just arrived here in the Philippines went to the office and told me that she is planning to go to Boracay. She saw an ad in the internet and is recruiting some more people to join her so that they can avail of the very affordable promo rate. I got excited, I’ve never been to Boracay myself and would want to go there for a holiday! I told her I’m in and she asked me to recruit 2 more since we need to be 4 in the group to avail the package. I did not waste my time and immediately asked some friends and even on Facebook. In just a matter of 2 hours, we’re complete!

Next day, there was a message in my facebook inbox from my friend that she found a better offer, same rate but instead of going to the crowded and busy Boracay, it’s going to be the jaw dropping and relaxing Coron, Palawan. (sorry bout the adjectives, lol) The reason why I said yes to her when she offered this trip to me was because of the destination. I really wanted to go to Boracay… after all, I heard a lot of stories meeting their soul mates in that lovely place. After a little bit of convincing and showing me of the breath taking pictures in Coron, I agreed. It’s a deal and we are leaving by the end of the year…

I’m happy that somehow I already made a start with my plan of traveling. Coron, is a good 1st destination and I just have to make sure that I’ll bring a camera, sun block and enjoy! Hopefully next year I could do this again… no, I will definitely do this again! Who knows I might even go outside of the country since I have been out of the country yet… =)

I think it would really be nice to see other places… beautiful places, meet people, experience other culture and also rediscover myself… so that before I finally close my eyes, I will be filled with beautiful picturesque images of the places I’ve gone to and memories… I won’t let what’s in me to stop me from traveling and experiencing everything that is out there… I’m ready to pack my bags and start moving….

Date anyone? lol.

Posted in etc, lovelife, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 22, 2010 by iamhivpositive

I was having dinner with a friend one Sunday evening at Kitchen in Greenbelt when suddenly a cute couple went inside the restaurant. Both of us looked at them with envy and followed them with our gaze until they were able to sit comfortably in one of the tables. We looked at each other and smiled. It was very obvious in our faces that we were envious, we both sighed and talked about why were still in the market.

Don’t get me wrong, I think being single is really fun. You get to do all the things you want to do… You get to go wherever you want to go… You get to flirt with all the guys who looks at you… and most of all you get to sleep with anyone you like… =) However, whether we admit it or not, there are really those nights wherein you just really wish that someone is waiting for you at home… that someone would just hug you after a rough day in the office, someone who would make tampo and make pasuyo… in short, someone to be with…. A partner…

Going back to my story, my friend and I started to talk about what we are looking for in a guy. I told my friend that he is very picky/choosy thus he is still single in his age, he’s already in his late 30’s… I think? Hehehe. He went into several dates lately and no matter how much of a good catch his date is, he always sees the flaws… or sometimes, it’s the other way around.

However in my case, I always go for the short cut… wala nang ligaw ligaw… if you like me, I like you… then tayo na… hahahaha. Wag nang patagalin… ;p though most of the time, since I am attracted to the more serious one’s… they are more into the getting to know each other first thing… and I don’t have anything against that… it’s for the better din naman. I’m very easy to please din naman kasi, as long as the person showers me with attention and makes me feel special, I’m yours… easy.. but I ain’t cheap. Lol. So sometimes I reflect on the dates that I had… the things that I did or said… because most of the time, I don’t get the second call… or end up as a friend… maybe I’m just really a friend material… and with that, I think I need some dating tips… anyone? ;p

Someone asked me, now that you’re a pozzie, nagbago ba yung mga gusto mo sa isang guy? Bumaba ba yung standards mo? I smiled. I don’t think na purket your sick is that you have to settle for the less… the more that you deserve the best right? And the best would be someone who would never judge you and will accept you pozzie or not… standards? Preferences? Qualifications? It will always be there… never naman talaga sigurong mawawala yun… did my preferences change? Maybe… I added something to the list and that is someone who understands, educated and accepting…

My friend’s sudden movement brought me back to the real word… I looked around and we’re still at Kitchen. My friend laughed at me and told me that I was day dreaming… he then challenged me that I should have a boyfriend by November… I laughed…

23

Posted in etc, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 8, 2010 by iamhivpositive

The countdown started… 27 days to go before my birthday. Yep, I’m turning 23 in a few weeks time and I’m HIV positive.

This year has been very eventful… I dated a lot of guys, had lots of sex, met a lot of wonderful guys, fell in love, was in a relationship thinking, finding out I have genital warts, being admitted in the hospital alone, went under the knife 2x to have the warts removed, found out I have HIV, learned yoga, learned to love myself more now and so on and so on…

A lot of people will be disappointed if ever they knew that in the age of 22, I’m already a pozzie. Some people might even stay away from me and judge me because of it. But right now, I don’t care. Not that I’m proud of it, but I know myself… and I fully accept the new me. And I know the real story… I’m turning 1 year older and I’m stronger, more optimistic and has a lot of love to give… and with that, I believe that is more that just being a young adult living with HIV… it makes me… me…

My trainees asks me, what do I want to happen in my next year… I answered with strong and healthy body, happiness, peace and serenity… corny no? Maybe if they asked me last year I would say, I want to have a laptop, the latest gadget, a car, a fat savings account, lots of boys, a hot boyfriend… not that I don’t want it anymore, let’s just say my priorities changed… I changed…

This year has taught me a lot of lessons in life… and I learned it in a very hard way… I stumbled this year, stumbled really bad, but as cliche as it may sound, it doesn’t matter how hard you hit the ground, it’s how you stand up and try to walk again that would define you as a man…

Again, a few weeks from now, im turning 23… and I have HIV…

Frogs

Posted in etc, lovelife, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , , on October 3, 2010 by iamhivpositive

A friend told me once, “he is just one of those frogs that you have to kiss before you find your prince…” when he told me that before, I laughed. I never really considered my love life as a fairytale story. Not that I’m not into fairy tales, in fact I love Little Mermaid! hehehe.

Anyways, the reason why I’m making this entry is because of “crush”…

Yep, you got it right… it’s not a happy ending….

One lazy day, I saw him online and decided to chat with him. He was game with chatting with me even though he didn’t have much sleep. We talked about random things until I can’t help but flirt with him. His replies were not dismissing so I continued pestering him. Our conversation went so well that I ended up confessing that I have a crush on him. He was surprised. I wondered why he was surprised… I think I was really obvious that I was crushing on him…. hahahah… he then told me that actually he finds me cute and that he likes me. Yey! And that made my day.

After that, we started exchanging text messages for almost everyday. Before we sleep and when we wake up, even though we don’t really have anything to talk about. I guess we were both excited with what we are starting to have.

Friday that week, my officemates decided to have dinner near his workplace. Knowing that he is at work during that time, I informed him that I was in the area and we decided to meet up during his break. I was excited. This is the first time that I am going to be able to actually talk to him in person. hehehe.

It was almost half past twelve when he arrived in the coffee shop. The first few minutes was awkward but I decided to just keep on talking to break the ice. Eventually, he started to loosen up a bit though there were still silent moments. After an hour of talking we decided to leave the shop. As you can see, nothing really special happened, there was no “spark”. I think.

I honestly feel that he didn’t like me, but when I asked him, he said we’re good. So I thought, it was ok. We continued to text and chat but this time, something changed already. He was not as perky as before, he would always say he was sleepy and tired. From there, I had the idea that he is really not into me anymore and that maybe he is just trying to be polite… and with that thought, I minimised my pestering until I finally asked him and he confirmed my conclusions…

Overall, I’m a bit sad about how it ended… but it was ok. Again, it was just a crush… In the other hand, I am also happy since we can still be friends… we already shared quite a lot of information to each other which I think can be a good foundation of our future friendship… hehehe… Right now, I think it will be quite awkward once I see him again in class but I know we will get over it… hehe

So just to sum it all up, he is one of those frogs that I had to kiss for me to find my real prince… where could he be? hehehe.