Archive for the lovelife Category

Sa Parking Lot

Posted in lovelife, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , on November 24, 2010 by iamhivpositive

Tanga. Yan siguro ang tawag sakin dahil gagawin ko ang gagawin ko ngayon.

Lahat ay handa ng umalis at naghihintay na lang ng elevator pababa. Medjo maliit lang ang elevator sa gusaling yaon kaya’t di lahat ay nakasakay sa unang elevator na nagbukas. Kaming dalawa ay nakabilang sa mga naunang nakasaky. Tahimik lang ang lahat marahil ay pagod o di kaya ay wala lang talagang mapagusapan. Isa isang nagbabaan sa iba’t ibang palapag ang iba pa naming kasama hangga’t sa kaming dalawa na lang ang natira sa loob. Ilang sandali pa at muling bumukas ang elevator at kami ay lumabas na rin mula rito.

Inimbitahan niya ako na sumabay na lang sa kanya at ihahatid niya ako sa pinakamalapit na sakayan dahil malakas ang ulan sa labas. Tumanggi pa ako nung una dahil sa tingin ko naman ay titila naman din ang ulan. Ngunit medyo mapilit siya at ako ay tuluyan nang di nakatanggi.

Sa tingin ko ay pansin nya ang malamig kong pakikitungo sa kanya nung araw nay un. Tanghali pa lang ay magkasama na kami at simula’t sa pol ng magkasama kami nung araw na yun, ako’y medyo ilag na talaga sa kanya.

“Is there something wrong?” Tanong niya sakin habang kami ay nanananghalian.
“Nothing… I’m just not in the mood… don’t mind me… mawawala din to…”

Pero sa totoo lang, nung mga oras ding yun, unti unti ko nang binubuo ang aking magiging “piece” sa kanya. Paano ko kaya sasabihin ng hindi siya masyadong masasaktan o hindi niya maiisip na ang taas naman ng tingin ko sa sarili ko?

Sumakay kami sa kanyang sasakyan. Sabi niya dun na lang daw kami mag-intay para mas malamig at makaupo kami ng maayos. Ito na. Ito na ang tamang timing na hinihintay ko. Ngayon ko na sasabihin sa kanya. Tinangka niyang hawakan ang aking kamay ngunit nagkunwari ako na di ko ito napapansin. Siya ay biglang nagakmang ako ay aakbayan ngunit di ko na napigil ang aking sarili at ako ay medjo napaangil.

“Ei, wag ka muna makulit please… medyo irritable ako ngayon e… snappy ba… sorry”

Ok lang ang kanyang maikling sagot at siya ay biglang natihimik. Tiningnan ko siya. Base sa kanyang reaksyon, alam kong siya ay naiinis na din sa aking pakikitungo sa kanya nuong araw na iyon.

“Ano ba talaga ang problema? Ilabas mo na… para hindi ka na mabad mood…”

At doon na ako nagsimula…

Sinubukan kong ipaliwanag sa kanya ang aking nararamdaman ngunit di ko ito madiretso.

“Ummm…. Sige… First, I don’t want to mislead you or anything… let’s just enjoy what we have… like, you can go date other people and same goes for me… but if you still want to ask me out, it’s fine… we can go out… I want us to be friends first… mas maganda kasi kapag ganun, I mean, yung foundation ng relationship natin… if ever man na magflourish… kung hindi naman magdevelop into something romantic… atleast we’re friends… ayoko lang magrush… right now, I’m trying… but sana talaga maging friends lang muna tayo… like walang holding hands or kissing… plain friends ba… then we’ll see from there if ever…”, ang mahaba at dire-diretso kong tugon…

“Ok… “ ang kanyang sagot….

Date anyone? lol.

Posted in etc, lovelife, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 22, 2010 by iamhivpositive

I was having dinner with a friend one Sunday evening at Kitchen in Greenbelt when suddenly a cute couple went inside the restaurant. Both of us looked at them with envy and followed them with our gaze until they were able to sit comfortably in one of the tables. We looked at each other and smiled. It was very obvious in our faces that we were envious, we both sighed and talked about why were still in the market.

Don’t get me wrong, I think being single is really fun. You get to do all the things you want to do… You get to go wherever you want to go… You get to flirt with all the guys who looks at you… and most of all you get to sleep with anyone you like… =) However, whether we admit it or not, there are really those nights wherein you just really wish that someone is waiting for you at home… that someone would just hug you after a rough day in the office, someone who would make tampo and make pasuyo… in short, someone to be with…. A partner…

Going back to my story, my friend and I started to talk about what we are looking for in a guy. I told my friend that he is very picky/choosy thus he is still single in his age, he’s already in his late 30’s… I think? Hehehe. He went into several dates lately and no matter how much of a good catch his date is, he always sees the flaws… or sometimes, it’s the other way around.

However in my case, I always go for the short cut… wala nang ligaw ligaw… if you like me, I like you… then tayo na… hahahaha. Wag nang patagalin… ;p though most of the time, since I am attracted to the more serious one’s… they are more into the getting to know each other first thing… and I don’t have anything against that… it’s for the better din naman. I’m very easy to please din naman kasi, as long as the person showers me with attention and makes me feel special, I’m yours… easy.. but I ain’t cheap. Lol. So sometimes I reflect on the dates that I had… the things that I did or said… because most of the time, I don’t get the second call… or end up as a friend… maybe I’m just really a friend material… and with that, I think I need some dating tips… anyone? ;p

Someone asked me, now that you’re a pozzie, nagbago ba yung mga gusto mo sa isang guy? Bumaba ba yung standards mo? I smiled. I don’t think na purket your sick is that you have to settle for the less… the more that you deserve the best right? And the best would be someone who would never judge you and will accept you pozzie or not… standards? Preferences? Qualifications? It will always be there… never naman talaga sigurong mawawala yun… did my preferences change? Maybe… I added something to the list and that is someone who understands, educated and accepting…

My friend’s sudden movement brought me back to the real word… I looked around and we’re still at Kitchen. My friend laughed at me and told me that I was day dreaming… he then challenged me that I should have a boyfriend by November… I laughed…

Frogs

Posted in etc, lovelife, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , , on October 3, 2010 by iamhivpositive

A friend told me once, “he is just one of those frogs that you have to kiss before you find your prince…” when he told me that before, I laughed. I never really considered my love life as a fairytale story. Not that I’m not into fairy tales, in fact I love Little Mermaid! hehehe.

Anyways, the reason why I’m making this entry is because of “crush”…

Yep, you got it right… it’s not a happy ending….

One lazy day, I saw him online and decided to chat with him. He was game with chatting with me even though he didn’t have much sleep. We talked about random things until I can’t help but flirt with him. His replies were not dismissing so I continued pestering him. Our conversation went so well that I ended up confessing that I have a crush on him. He was surprised. I wondered why he was surprised… I think I was really obvious that I was crushing on him…. hahahah… he then told me that actually he finds me cute and that he likes me. Yey! And that made my day.

After that, we started exchanging text messages for almost everyday. Before we sleep and when we wake up, even though we don’t really have anything to talk about. I guess we were both excited with what we are starting to have.

Friday that week, my officemates decided to have dinner near his workplace. Knowing that he is at work during that time, I informed him that I was in the area and we decided to meet up during his break. I was excited. This is the first time that I am going to be able to actually talk to him in person. hehehe.

It was almost half past twelve when he arrived in the coffee shop. The first few minutes was awkward but I decided to just keep on talking to break the ice. Eventually, he started to loosen up a bit though there were still silent moments. After an hour of talking we decided to leave the shop. As you can see, nothing really special happened, there was no “spark”. I think.

I honestly feel that he didn’t like me, but when I asked him, he said we’re good. So I thought, it was ok. We continued to text and chat but this time, something changed already. He was not as perky as before, he would always say he was sleepy and tired. From there, I had the idea that he is really not into me anymore and that maybe he is just trying to be polite… and with that thought, I minimised my pestering until I finally asked him and he confirmed my conclusions…

Overall, I’m a bit sad about how it ended… but it was ok. Again, it was just a crush… In the other hand, I am also happy since we can still be friends… we already shared quite a lot of information to each other which I think can be a good foundation of our future friendship… hehehe… Right now, I think it will be quite awkward once I see him again in class but I know we will get over it… hehe

So just to sum it all up, he is one of those frogs that I had to kiss for me to find my real prince… where could he be? hehehe.

Late!

Posted in etc, lovelife, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , , on September 29, 2010 by iamhivpositive

I woke up early that Saturday even though I went home late that night. My eyes were still hurting and I’m really struggling to open them. I felt like I have a headache due to lack of sleep, I was also dizzy. I looked for my phone and check the time from there, it was 645am. I don’t know what woke me up but I can’t manage to go back to sleep so there’s no option but to wake up. Even though my eyes were revolting, I forced myself to go to the sink and wash my face. The cold water from the faucet somehow sparked my still sleeping consciousness.

I don’t have anything to do that day but just to attend the class after lunch. Usually, the thought of attending the class jazzes me up but because of the dizziness, I feel otherwise. As lunch is fastly approaching, I felt lazier… and lazier… until I realized that “he” might also be attending the class today. That thought made me jump off my feet and start moving. First agenda, pedicure! My toe nails are too long already and it starting to look nasty so I decided to visit my pedicurist. My toes has too look their best as there is a chance that he might sit beside me this time and might see my toes. Hehehe… though I know that it’s not even a guarantee that he will attend the class today, I have to be ready.

After lunch, I went to Makati earlier than I used to and just decided to wait there until the class starts. I was sitting on the couch outside the room while listening to Good Girls Go Bad. One by one, participants started arriving until we were about to start. I can’t stop myself from searching the room and looking at the door… waiting if he is going to arrive. And when we were about to start, there he was, rushing through the door.

I sighed… then smiled.

The Newcomer

Posted in etc, lovelife, Personal, pozzie life with tags , , , , , , on September 23, 2010 by iamhivpositive

Rain drops started to fall from the sky one by one. I can almost hear every drop from the outside. In a few minutes, we are going to start and I’m preparing myself for this session. I closed my eyes and started to listen to my breathing…

In less than a minute after starting what I’m doing, I noticed that suddenly it became dark and can’t help but open my eyes. The ray of light from the door that usually touches my face during practice was covered by a silhouette of 2 people hugging. It was the teachers and a new comer. After their tight hug, the new comer scanned the room quickly with his eyes and caught mine. I smiled. It was my way of saying “welcome” to the class… I didn’t know if he smiled back as I got embarrassed and looked away. I felt my blood rushed to my face… was I red? I was…blushing.

And so the class started and all through out I was distracted. I wasn’t able to concentrate that day. How can this stranger have this effect on me? Why do I startle when I feel that he looks in my direction? My mind was a chaos… my heart was happy. I feel like my heart is being tickled. A tickle that unconsciously makes me smile and for sure anyone who would see me would think that I’m crazy.

I tried to get my head straight on… I think the teacher noticed my distraction that he goes to where I am and corrects what I’m doing. I didn’t mind him correcting me… I need it. I need someone to tell me to focus. Focus on what I’m doing and not focus on what he is doing. “FOCUS!” I told myself.

After almost 2 hours of sweating our butts off, we were ready to call it a day. I went to the loo and change my clothes. While changing, I stopped and looked in the mirror for awhile, I smiled. After almost 5 months, here I am… crushing over someone again… I continued with packing my stuff and after I finished I went out and wore my shoes. When everyone was ready, we all left together… while walking someone tapped my back, I wondered who it was and when I look back, it was him…

Crush

Posted in etc, lovelife, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , on September 19, 2010 by iamhivpositive

I feel like I’m a teenager all over again…

Do you remember when you had a crush with someone at school?
When you try your best not to mess up whenever your crush around? When you try to hide your face when he smiles at you for him not to see your blushing?
When you always make an effort to look good to leave a nice impression?
When you make sure to read a lot so that you have something to talk about when he starts a conversation with you?
When you can’t sleep at night thinking what is he doing?
When you get kilig whenever he texts you?
and get sad when it’s the opposite…
When you ask that person a lot of questions about him to make sure you know every bit of information?
When you always smile out of nowhere when you think of that person?
When you are soo inspired to study/work because your happy?
When you are always soo looking forward to that day that you are going to see him….

haaayy…

I realized…

Posted in etc, lovelife, Music, Personal, pozzie life with tags , , , , , , , on August 16, 2010 by iamhivpositive

Met up with babe awhile ago for lunch before I head to SAGIP for my check up… I told him a lot of happy stories that is happening to me… to let him know there’s no need to worry and that I am fine… I asked him how he was… he told me he is now seeing someone new… I smiled… at first, it didn’t hurt… but as we go our separate ways… the pain started eating my heart…

(For some reason, the video is not loading so I’ll just post the lyrics of the song…)

It never crossed my mind at all
That’s what I tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You’re better off with someone else
It’s for the best, I know it is
But I see you
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside

And I turn around
You’re with him now
I just can’t figure it out

Tell me why
You’re so hard to forget
Don’t remind me
I’m not over it
Tell me why
I can’t seem to face the truth
I’m just a little too not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)
Not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)

Memories
Supposed to fade
What’s wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn’t think it be this hard
Should be strong
Moving on
But I see you
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside

And I turn around
You’re with him now
I just can’t figure it out

Tell me why
You’re so hard to forget
Don’t remind me
I’m not over it
Tell me why
I can’t seem to face the truth
I’m just a little too not over you

Maybe I regret
Everything I said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now I’m on my own
How I let you go
I’ll never understand
I’ll never understand
Yeah, oooh, oooh, oooh
Oooooooh
Oh
Ooooh, oh

Tell me why
You’re so hard to forget
Don’t remind me
I’m not over it
Tell me why
I can’t seem to face the truth
I’m just a little too not over you

Tell me why
You’re so hard to forget
Don’t remind me
I’m not over it
Tell me why
I can’t seem to face the truth
And I really don’t know what to do

I’m just a little too not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)
Not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)