Archive for death

The Lazarus Effect

Posted in etc, Medical, Personal, pozzie life with tags , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2010 by iamhivpositive

This movie/documentary from HBO is described in wiki as…

The Lazarus Effect is a 2010 documentary film about the positive impact of antiretroviral drugs on HIV/AIDS patients in Africa. It was directed by Lance Bangs, and executive produced by Spike Jonze. The film is produced by (RED) and HBO.[1]

The 30-minute film tracks several people who were seriously ill but return to a healthier condition in a relatively short period of time after starting antiretroviral drug therapy.

The film has been reviewed by critic Noel Murray of A.V. Club saying that the film is a “straight-up advocacy doc, designed to get anyone who watches it to open their wallets. And it’s remarkably effective at that.”

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The Ugly Truth

Posted in lovelife, Personal, pozzie life with tags , , , , , , , , , on June 3, 2010 by iamhivpositive

Weekend.  I asked babe if he could go online so that I could help him complete the list of candidates that he is going to vote tomorrow, the election.  Also, I was planning to continue my evil plan, it has been a week and I think that he hasn’t read my email as “dummy”.  He replied positively and said that he will go online once he got home which he did.

After talking about the election, I told him that I’m going to log out already because dinner is ready which he said ok.  I logged back in, this time using the dummy account.  I added him in ym and he immediately accepted it.  I buzzed him and he replied back so quickly.  We talked, me as dummy of course, and introduced ourselves and talked about our lives.  Then I questioned him again about his real intention in keeping his account in Romeo if he really is happy in his relationship.  I thought that he was getting pissed already as there were times where in he didn’t reply.  So, I turned the table and ask him if there is anything that he would want to ask me.  His questions are basically regarding my identity, since I think he is already starting to doubt me.  I thought I was gonna get caught already when he asked me how I was able to find his profile in Romeo but I was able to convince him with my answer. whew!

After a few more talking, I asked him if he would want to meet up with me since I am going to Manila the next day ( I told him I was from Pampanga), which he declined since according to him he is busy.  I was able to breathe that time, since we have plans the next day.  But “dummy” was very persistent.  I teased him.  I told him that if ever that we are going to meet, we could “chill” in my place. I’m sure you know what I mean.  I then asked him if he is a top or a bottom.  He said bottom.  And I replied with “good! cause I’m top” and he replied back with a smiley.  Then I asked him of what he wants do to me if ever that we will be alone in my place.  He replied with a very wholesome answer and that is to talk.  I played with fire some more as I replied back with, “just talk?”.  He replied again with a yes.  Somehow, I was relieved as I’m happy with his answers.  But I pushed it a little bit more, I asked him again on what he would want to do to me as I want to get jiggy with him.  He then replied with a very shocking answer.  “I want to suck your nipple and your dick” were his exact words.  My heart fell into the floor.  He followed it up with “I want you to fuck me hard”.  And I died.  I can’t remember the rest of the conversation as I was lost already.  Like what I said, I died.

After a few minutes of shock, I recovered.  I asked him to meet up with me already so we can make our fantasies into reality.  Still his having second thoughts but he told me that his gonna find a way.  Dummy suggested for him to just postpone our date since we still have some other time while Dummy is only going to Manila once and teased him again with the things that they are going to do.  And that made him think.


I was already sleeping when babe called.  He called to cancel our date because he needs to do something in school before his duty around 4pm which is the time that we are supposed to meet up.  He knows that if it is about school, I would say yes.  But before I said yes, I asked him if it is really worth it to exchange our date with what he is going to do… there was silence and he said yes… my heart was crushed into pieces.  Thats it.  It’s over.


Babe called again, and this time telling me that we should just push through and that he should put me first before anything else.  But he already cancelled me.  And I know what is the real reason.  So I asked why all of the sudden he can throw whatever it is that he needs to do in school when awhile ago, he said it was soo important that’s why he was cancelling me.  We ended up arguing.  Until we ended up deciding that we should just meet and talk.


My heart is on the floor.  Crushed into pieces.  Bleeding.  I died.


I am so emotional in writing this post.  It is hard to go through this memory all over again.  =(