Archive for disappointed

6 Months after

Posted in HIV, Medical, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 2, 2010 by iamhivpositive

At the start of November, I started waiting for a text from the SAGIP clinic of PGH. It has been six months already and it’s the time for my next CD4 test. 2 weeks have passed and still no text from my doctor or from the nurse so I decided to call them. Once I was put through to the clinic, the nurse told me that there are no available slots yet and they’ll just text me if there is a slot already. She asked for my number to double check if what they have on their chart is correct.

I sighed. I’m getting disappointed with how they are handling us their patients. But I tried to look at the bigger picture, it would really be difficult for them to schedule us since we are just sharing the machine from other “schools” (treatment hubs). And so I waited for another week until I can’t help myself and again gave them a ring.

The nurse told me that there is still no available slot for the CD4 test and that they are prioritizing the “baseliners” (first timers in taking their CD4 test). I felt… unimportant? So does that mean that since I am a second timer I should not be prioritized? My health is also at stake right?

She then asked me if I am willing to go RITM since there is more chance of me getting a schedule there. Even though that RITM is quite far from where I live, I said yes. I would rather travel far than wait for a schedule from SLH. It might be too late already before I get a schedule. And so after 2 days, I received a text message from the nurse telling me that I was scheduled Tuesday before 9am next week.

I woke up really early that day because I don’t want to be late. A friend asked me if I want to hitch a ride since he is also going to RITM that day. Lucky me considering all the trouble that I will be facing if ever I go there alone. I haven’t been to Alabang yet and I’m quite slow with directions. Hehehe.

We arrived early in RITM and so we decided to stay in the cafeteria first. The first thing I noticed about RITM is that it is isolated. It’s the only building, I think, in that area of Alabang. It was very quiet and there were a lot of trees that will give you a very calm feeling.

My friend went ahead and guided me to the clinic. He was greeted by the nurse I’ve been reading and hearing a lot, ate Anna. Her warm smile could really make you comfortable and homey. She asked me if I was with my friend and I said yes, she then asked me to sit beside her and got my recommendation letter. While she was reading the letter, she kept on telling me that life goes on… and I smiled.

Once again, my friend ushered me to the laboratory where they will have my blood extracted. The nurse who’s going to facilitate was quite young and I can tell that she is still a student. I smiled at her and told her not to make it hurtful. She smiled back. As expected, she had a hard time in extracting my blood since my veins easily pops (pumuputok) or as they say, “sumasayaw”. After roughly 15 minutes, I was on my way back to the clinic. I was happy that at last, I am done with my CD4 test all I need to worry now is just the result.

Wanna know my latest CD4 count….? From 759 6 months ago…. It’s now…. 795!!!!
Yehey!!!! I though that my CD4 is going to drop since I am not taking ARVs. But I was wrong, thanks to Centrum, Vit. E with Selenium, Poten Cee and most of all YOGA for boosting my CD4 up!

Disappointed

Posted in etc, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts, work with tags , , , , , , , on September 28, 2010 by iamhivpositive

This past few days, I really feel like lady luck is running away from me… yes, I always almost catch her, but then again she always escapes… how come?

Last Thursday was supposedly a very happy day for my wallet. Yes, it was our pay day and not just an ordinary pay day but it is a bonus pay day. Everyone from our team was really happy and excited that we started making plans on how to spend our “hard-work-earned” incentive after shift. We were planning to go out and have some coffee and maybe eat in a fancy restaurant. The mood in the office was really festive!

Usually, our pay becomes credited into our bank accounts around 4pm… 8pm is the latest. Curious on how much my pay is, I tried to check it online… after searching the banks site using google, I was on my way in finding it out with just a few clicks! After typing in all the necessary information, I finally clicked the “submit” button, closed my eyes, and prepared myself to be surprised…and I was surprised. The much anticipated bonus was missing! It’s not there. I doubled check it and still it gives me the same amount. My jaw dropped. It’s the time of the month were we need to pay our bills! Oh my God! (I know I might sound OA to some of you, but I’m just an average earner and a bonus would really get me far… lol)

I asked my officemates to check theirs as well and slowly, the happy mood in the office disappeared. We tried asking our boss what went wrong, but to our dismay, his explanation didn’t really satisfy our disappointed hearts… Since we cannot do anything about it anymore, slowly one by one took their phones and cancelled their scheduled night outs, I even went home immediately instead of having coffee with some of my friends. I also cancelled my appointment wit the dentist as I was major major unhappy.

I am unhappy not just because I didn’t get the bonus… I felt that we were given a false hope… I was unhappy because I had to cancel all my plans… If our expectation were just properly managed then we could’ve prepared… For sure, last Thurs & Fri, my CD4 dropped because of stress which actually continued the whole weekend…

I promised myself that starting Monday of this week, I will be happy and attract only positive vibes… but….