Archive for doctor

Positive!

Posted in Medical, Personal with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 25, 2010 by iamhivpositive

The sound of my message alert tone made me nervous… I don’t know whats with that day… I was uneasy…I picked my phone and it was the nurse from the clinic who messaged me.  I took a deep breath before I actually opened the message.  Somehow I already know what the message is… she is inviting me to go to the clinic for the result and I was right.

Like my previous visit, I filed a leave to make sure that I have the whole day for myself  whatever the result maybe.  I woke up early and prepared myself, my boyfriend and I will meet at 8am that day since he decided that he wants to go with me.  I arrived early in our meeting place, while waiting it gave me the chance to think.  I thought of the possibilities… what could happen if ever that it turns out positive.  After a few more minutes, my boyfriend arrive with his usual comforting smile.  He was carrying his laptop as he was from a conference in the hospital as well.  We wasted no time as we immediately head to the clinic.

When we arrived, the nurse was still talking to someone and she instructed me to wait outside the clinic first.  After almost an hour, my boyfriend told me that he needs to go back to the conference already and that he has to leave me.  I smiled at him and he smiled back, as if giving me an assurance that it is going to be alright.  After he left, the nurse then called my name.

I was instructed by the nurse to wait again in the 2nd cubicle.  The doctor came in after a few minutes and asked me how I was.  I said I was ok.  He then asked me if the nurse counseled me during my first visit.  I answered yes.  My heart was beating sooo loud I can be deaf.  He then slowly opened an envelope and read it to me… he started reading the result and slowly explained everything to me.  I was positive.

I was speechless, I didn’t know what to say that I just kept on nodding to everything he asked.  He explained to me what the next step was and that is to undergo the CD4 count test.  He was trying to comfort me by telling me that it is not over… that I can still live my life normally as long as stay healthy.  He even kid that I can still have sex as long as it is protected.  I was just quiet.  He then asked me if I was ok, I just smiled.

After asking me a few more questions that is related on how I got the virus, he told me that he will queue me in line to get a schedule for the CD4 count.  He said that it usually takes more that a month before I can actually have my CD4 count test so I need to take Vitamin C and Vitamin A for awhile since we don’t know what my CD4 count is.  The nurse got my number and I saw her write my name in their log book.  She as well smiled at me and told me to just wait for her text as she will be texting me once she got an available slot.

I was still not myself when I left the clinic, I immediately texted my boyfriend telling him that I’m about to go home already… He immediately replied and told me to just wait for him so we can have lunch together since it was almost lunch already…  I said yes and I am planning to tell him the truth… and I still have almost an hour to prepare myself on whatever his reaction will be…

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Prolonging the Agony

Posted in Medical with tags , , , , , , on May 23, 2010 by iamhivpositive

I sat nervously in the chair that was offered to me by the nurse in the clinic… she smiled at me.  She asked me to wait since my doctor is still eating.  My eyes wandered… the clinic was of rectangular shape, it was kind of narrow with 3 cubicles.  There were 2 more guys in the 2nd cubicle… they were very thin and they look really sick.  I got scared.

After a few minutes, the nurse came back and asked me questions… if I have any history of any disease.  I told her I had hepa once, but was cured immediately.  She then asked me, “What if it’s positive? What will you do?”… I answered bravely, that it’s ok… be healthy I guess… but deep inside, I was really really clueless since I was really hoping that it’s going to be negative.  I never really entertained the possibility of the result being positive…

The doctor came in… the nurse immediately asked the 2 guys to move to the 3rd cubicle and the doctor ushered me to proceed to the second cubicle.  He asked me the usual questions and got my vital signs…  once he was done, he sat down opposite of me and told me that the result is not yet in and that they need to take more blood because the blood that they got from me when I was still admitted was not enough… of course, I let them take the necessary amount of blood.  Then he just said that they are going to text me once they have the result and that I could go home already…

I went home that day frustrated…I didn’t know what to feel… I was left hanging…  after waiting for so long… I have to wait again…

My Christmas present…

Posted in lovelife, Medical with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 14, 2010 by iamhivpositive

It was Christmas time and everyone was just soo warm and happy… There was not much in our small table but I can say it was enough to satisfy 3 people; anyways it was my mum, my youngest brother and I at home.  I was able to eat a lot that my tummy started to react and made me visit the loo and that is where I received the most unpleasant Christmas gift ever…

The warts are back.  I felt it while washing.  I was just so surprised that I ended up crying.  I don’t know what to do, the doctor told me that if ever that it is gonna come back, most likely it would be in 2 months time.  And he assured me that everything was removed and that it will not come back.  I was lost and scared.  There were a lot of questions in my mind, but I told myself that I need to be calm and find a solution.

It was already January when I was able to go to a doctor (a different one this time) and have myself checked.  He said that not all was removed that is why the warts were back but there is also a possibility that the viral load of my HPV is too strong that it was able to regenerate it 2-3 weeks time after my surgery.  The doctor said that another operation must be done to remove it.  He also advised me to undergo HIV screening as this might be another reason why the warts are back.

The thought of undergoing the HIV screening didn’t really scared me that time.  It was the money that I need to come up with again made me really sweaty.  I asked for advice from other people, my officemates to be specific, and they told me that I should ask for a second opinion, and so I did.

My boyfriend that time is a medical student and he was able to help set up an appointment to their dean who is luckily, the head of the Colorectal Surgery Department of that hospital.  I felt like a VIP as I was prioritized.  The doctor gave me the same advice, that I needed to undergo another surgery and that I need to undergo different lab tests.  He immediately scheduled me for the operation and said that I need not to worry about the fees as the hospital is public anyways.  My boyfriend also reassured me that he will be in every step of the way. I felt very strong as I know I have the support that I needed…