Archive for genital warts

23

Posted in etc, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 8, 2010 by iamhivpositive

The countdown started… 27 days to go before my birthday. Yep, I’m turning 23 in a few weeks time and I’m HIV positive.

This year has been very eventful… I dated a lot of guys, had lots of sex, met a lot of wonderful guys, fell in love, was in a relationship thinking, finding out I have genital warts, being admitted in the hospital alone, went under the knife 2x to have the warts removed, found out I have HIV, learned yoga, learned to love myself more now and so on and so on…

A lot of people will be disappointed if ever they knew that in the age of 22, I’m already a pozzie. Some people might even stay away from me and judge me because of it. But right now, I don’t care. Not that I’m proud of it, but I know myself… and I fully accept the new me. And I know the real story… I’m turning 1 year older and I’m stronger, more optimistic and has a lot of love to give… and with that, I believe that is more that just being a young adult living with HIV… it makes me… me…

My trainees asks me, what do I want to happen in my next year… I answered with strong and healthy body, happiness, peace and serenity… corny no? Maybe if they asked me last year I would say, I want to have a laptop, the latest gadget, a car, a fat savings account, lots of boys, a hot boyfriend… not that I don’t want it anymore, let’s just say my priorities changed… I changed…

This year has taught me a lot of lessons in life… and I learned it in a very hard way… I stumbled this year, stumbled really bad, but as cliche as it may sound, it doesn’t matter how hard you hit the ground, it’s how you stand up and try to walk again that would define you as a man…

Again, a few weeks from now, im turning 23… and I have HIV…

Advertisements

February 27, 2010

Posted in lovelife, Medical with tags , , , , , , , on May 17, 2010 by iamhivpositive

The day I’ve been waiting for has finally come.  It was February 27, 2010.  The day of my operation.  Finally, the warts will be removed… again.  But I know this time, it’s gonna take quite sometime before it comes back.

I’m getting impatient, my boyfriend arrived early in the morning but also has to go out to buy something for my operation.  Yes, he was the one who stayed with me in the hospital for 3 days.  My family didn’t know that I have genital warts.  I told them I have protruding hemorrhoids and they believed it.  (We are not the typical Filipino family who looks after the other, we go on our own separate ways and not meddle with each others affair)  Until nearly before lunch time, he arrived looking very very tired.

My boyfriend was with me starting day 1 until the operation.  He makes sure to visit and take care of everything even though he still has to go on duty that night as well.  I pitied him.  I felt very sorry because I am his boyfriend.  He deserve someone better.  Yes, I am “self-pitying”.   I told myself that day that if he decides to go and look for someone else, I would understand.  I should.  I must.

The nurse came in and prep me for the operation.  It was lunch time.  After the nurse injected me with something, my sight became very blurry and I felt really sleepy.  I remembered my boyfriend telling me that he is just gonna go home quick to change and assured me that he is beside me as I open my eyes again.  The nurse then pushed the stretcher inside the operation room and the last thing I remembered was they asked me to do a fetal position….

My Christmas present…

Posted in lovelife, Medical with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 14, 2010 by iamhivpositive

It was Christmas time and everyone was just soo warm and happy… There was not much in our small table but I can say it was enough to satisfy 3 people; anyways it was my mum, my youngest brother and I at home.  I was able to eat a lot that my tummy started to react and made me visit the loo and that is where I received the most unpleasant Christmas gift ever…

The warts are back.  I felt it while washing.  I was just so surprised that I ended up crying.  I don’t know what to do, the doctor told me that if ever that it is gonna come back, most likely it would be in 2 months time.  And he assured me that everything was removed and that it will not come back.  I was lost and scared.  There were a lot of questions in my mind, but I told myself that I need to be calm and find a solution.

It was already January when I was able to go to a doctor (a different one this time) and have myself checked.  He said that not all was removed that is why the warts were back but there is also a possibility that the viral load of my HPV is too strong that it was able to regenerate it 2-3 weeks time after my surgery.  The doctor said that another operation must be done to remove it.  He also advised me to undergo HIV screening as this might be another reason why the warts are back.

The thought of undergoing the HIV screening didn’t really scared me that time.  It was the money that I need to come up with again made me really sweaty.  I asked for advice from other people, my officemates to be specific, and they told me that I should ask for a second opinion, and so I did.

My boyfriend that time is a medical student and he was able to help set up an appointment to their dean who is luckily, the head of the Colorectal Surgery Department of that hospital.  I felt like a VIP as I was prioritized.  The doctor gave me the same advice, that I needed to undergo another surgery and that I need to undergo different lab tests.  He immediately scheduled me for the operation and said that I need not to worry about the fees as the hospital is public anyways.  My boyfriend also reassured me that he will be in every step of the way. I felt very strong as I know I have the support that I needed…

Number 2

Posted in Medical with tags , , , , , , on May 12, 2010 by iamhivpositive

It all started with a night of unprotected sex.  I don’t know with who or when I got it, all I know now it’s already in my body.

Early last year, as I was washing after making a dump, I felt something in my behind.  There was a soft flesh like thing that I was able to feel.  Thinking that it was just a left over, I tried watering and removing it until it got painful.  After drying up, I immediately grab a mirror and went back to the loo to check what it is and I was shocked with what I saw.  There was a wart in my behind! It was very tiny and unnoticeable that even I had a hard time before I was finally able to figure what it is.  Unaware what it really was, I ignored it thinking that it’ll be gone in a few days.  Besides, I just had the most amazing sex the night before so who cares what it was.  I am in demand right now and I don’t have any time to sprare thinking of what it was. And I was right; it was gone after a month…

At the end of the year, I, once again felt something different in my anus while cleaning it.  This time, it’s not just one, not two but there were several warts in my anus.  I got really scared this time and I decided to go and see a doctor.  I was diagnosed with Genital warts.  The doctor immediately scheduled me for an operation since it is the fastest way to remove it and to avoid it from spreading all over my anus.  That weekend, I had the operation and thank God it was all gone.  The doctor prescribed me pain killers and anti-biotics with high dosage so that I will not feel any pain while my wound is healing.  And he was right, I never felt the slightest pain that was brought by the operation.   The doctor told me that there is no assurance that the warts are not gonna come back since the virus can’t be cured.  We just have to wait until my body gets immune to it and all of the symptoms to disappear.  However, because of the operation that he just did to me, according to the doctor, it is much likely for it not to appear anymore since he made sure that no wart was left.  I felt relieved…

I was very happy that I will be able to celebrate my birthday and Christmas healthy… and with no worries in my mind…