Archive for nurse

54!

Posted in Medical, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 22, 2010 by iamhivpositive

Sad, I trailed my way going to the SAGIP clinic of PGH. While walking there were a lot of flash backs in my head. Memories from 4 months ago… memories that I now have to fully let go.

I arrived 5 minutes before 1pm which is my check up schedule. I decided to put my back my happy mood since I have to let my doctor know that I’m doing fine. I knocked in the usual closed door of the small rectangular room. No one answered so I tried to open it, the small reception or nurse’s table was empty so I decided to open it a bit more. There was a girl, say early 30’s who was on the second cubicle and looked at me.

JunJun: Asan po yung nurse?
Lady: Ah, wala pa e… magwait na lang daw…

I thanked the lady and closed the door. I decided to wait outside and I texted my doctor informing him I was already outside. He replied back saying that I could come in and wait there instead. I went back to the clinic and took the visitor’s chair in front of the nurse’s desk. Dr. D suddenly popped out from the 2nd cubicle and asked me to go there. He asked me how I was and if I was living healthy and I told him everything that I have been doing. He was satisfied, I can say he was also happy hearing my happy stories.

He then took the weighing scale and prompt me to weigh myself and check my gain weight progress. I was soo excited and I even bragged that I gained weight. I told him he would be surprised. I carefully stepped on the machine and a little while, the number was clear… it’s 54. Yes, I am 54 kilos only. hahahaha. Dr. D smiled.

Dr. D: sige nga, tingnan natin kung nag-gain ka talaga…

He took a folder with my name on it, check my lab results until he found what he was looking for. My previous check up files. He smiled. Then said, it’s also 54!

Positive!

Posted in Medical, Personal with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 25, 2010 by iamhivpositive

The sound of my message alert tone made me nervous… I don’t know whats with that day… I was uneasy…I picked my phone and it was the nurse from the clinic who messaged me.  I took a deep breath before I actually opened the message.  Somehow I already know what the message is… she is inviting me to go to the clinic for the result and I was right.

Like my previous visit, I filed a leave to make sure that I have the whole day for myself  whatever the result maybe.  I woke up early and prepared myself, my boyfriend and I will meet at 8am that day since he decided that he wants to go with me.  I arrived early in our meeting place, while waiting it gave me the chance to think.  I thought of the possibilities… what could happen if ever that it turns out positive.  After a few more minutes, my boyfriend arrive with his usual comforting smile.  He was carrying his laptop as he was from a conference in the hospital as well.  We wasted no time as we immediately head to the clinic.

When we arrived, the nurse was still talking to someone and she instructed me to wait outside the clinic first.  After almost an hour, my boyfriend told me that he needs to go back to the conference already and that he has to leave me.  I smiled at him and he smiled back, as if giving me an assurance that it is going to be alright.  After he left, the nurse then called my name.

I was instructed by the nurse to wait again in the 2nd cubicle.  The doctor came in after a few minutes and asked me how I was.  I said I was ok.  He then asked me if the nurse counseled me during my first visit.  I answered yes.  My heart was beating sooo loud I can be deaf.  He then slowly opened an envelope and read it to me… he started reading the result and slowly explained everything to me.  I was positive.

I was speechless, I didn’t know what to say that I just kept on nodding to everything he asked.  He explained to me what the next step was and that is to undergo the CD4 count test.  He was trying to comfort me by telling me that it is not over… that I can still live my life normally as long as stay healthy.  He even kid that I can still have sex as long as it is protected.  I was just quiet.  He then asked me if I was ok, I just smiled.

After asking me a few more questions that is related on how I got the virus, he told me that he will queue me in line to get a schedule for the CD4 count.  He said that it usually takes more that a month before I can actually have my CD4 count test so I need to take Vitamin C and Vitamin A for awhile since we don’t know what my CD4 count is.  The nurse got my number and I saw her write my name in their log book.  She as well smiled at me and told me to just wait for her text as she will be texting me once she got an available slot.

I was still not myself when I left the clinic, I immediately texted my boyfriend telling him that I’m about to go home already… He immediately replied and told me to just wait for him so we can have lunch together since it was almost lunch already…  I said yes and I am planning to tell him the truth… and I still have almost an hour to prepare myself on whatever his reaction will be…

Prolonging the Agony

Posted in Medical with tags , , , , , , on May 23, 2010 by iamhivpositive

I sat nervously in the chair that was offered to me by the nurse in the clinic… she smiled at me.  She asked me to wait since my doctor is still eating.  My eyes wandered… the clinic was of rectangular shape, it was kind of narrow with 3 cubicles.  There were 2 more guys in the 2nd cubicle… they were very thin and they look really sick.  I got scared.

After a few minutes, the nurse came back and asked me questions… if I have any history of any disease.  I told her I had hepa once, but was cured immediately.  She then asked me, “What if it’s positive? What will you do?”… I answered bravely, that it’s ok… be healthy I guess… but deep inside, I was really really clueless since I was really hoping that it’s going to be negative.  I never really entertained the possibility of the result being positive…

The doctor came in… the nurse immediately asked the 2 guys to move to the 3rd cubicle and the doctor ushered me to proceed to the second cubicle.  He asked me the usual questions and got my vital signs…  once he was done, he sat down opposite of me and told me that the result is not yet in and that they need to take more blood because the blood that they got from me when I was still admitted was not enough… of course, I let them take the necessary amount of blood.  Then he just said that they are going to text me once they have the result and that I could go home already…

I went home that day frustrated…I didn’t know what to feel… I was left hanging…  after waiting for so long… I have to wait again…

Waiting

Posted in Medical with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 21, 2010 by iamhivpositive

It has been a week since I was hospitalised and still I haven’t heard anything from my doctor regarding the HIV screening that I had… I’m already worried, could this mean I’m positive that’s why it’s taking them so long to inform me or give me my result?

Luckily, that weekend our department in the office has a scheduled team building somewhere in the south.  I felt that this is a good timing after all of the things that I’ve been through this week, it will also keep my mind off thinking about the result.  I had fun.  I really enjoyed our team building but there are minutes wherein I ask myself, what if it’s positive?  What will I do?

After 3 days of happiness, we went back to reality.  Even though I’m busy in the office, I can’t help myself from thinking about what the result will be.  Yes, I admit that there are risks that can make me assume that I am positive but the nurse also told me in the hospital that all of the other STD screenings that they did to me turn out all to be negative so there’s a big chance of me being non-reactive.

After a few more days, my boyfriend texted me informing me that the nurse in the IDS (Infectious Disease Section) clinic is asking me to drop by their clinic the next day for the result.  This is the moment I’ve been waiting for…  I prepared myself, mentally and emotionally whatever the result may be.  I filed a leave from work so that I can have the whole day for myself when I receive the result.

I went to the clinic early the next day.  I was very eager to know the result.  My boyfriend picked me up in a nearby fast food and accompanied me to the clinic… we waited for almost an hour before the nurse called my name… then my heart started to pound so loud….