Archive for relationship

Promotion

Posted in Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 31, 2010 by iamhivpositive

I messed up. I screwed it up. I failed. Epic fail. I think this is going to be another of my down falls this year… I just let an opportunity for me to be promoted pass… =(

Almost 2 months ago, 2 of my lovely office mates decided to resign and look for a better opportunity with other companies. Although it’s sad that they are leaving, it has opened 2 a new door for growth for us, their assistants. After 2 weeks, the position was opened and so 3 assistants applied, including me.

I can say that I am a strong contender as I am the most tenured in the position, thus making me the more experienced one. I am actually assuming the position already as I am, most of the time, doing what our bosses were doing. So without hesitation, I updated my resume and submitted it.

After 2 weeks of waiting, we were given our schedules for the interview. Monday at 2pm is my interview and Tuesday at 230pm will be for my 15 minute presentation. After accepting the meeting request in my outlook, my heart started pounding. I suddenly became nervous. I am really bad with interviews, the last 2 interviews I had, I totally screwed it up and of course, I was not successful. I immediately booked meeting requests for mock interview with some of my bosses. I will definitely need some help with this.

Now it’s time for me to think of what will I teach them for my demo. It has to be something new according to the invitation that they sent us. And since I am into yoga lately, I decided to teach them office yoga. I know I am just a beginner and needs to be trained before doing it, but c’mon, this is just a 15 minute presentation so I told myself, why not! And there I was, studying and making a power point presentation about office yoga.

The day of our interview arrived and I was at first, not nervous. But I noticed that time seems to run so fast and with it, the beat of my heart started to join its rhythm.In a few blinks, it was already 2pm and off I was to the venue of my interview. The interview started and honestly, some of the questions, I find it easy to answer but the others, I was really lost. Epic fail!

The next day came and it was time for my presentation. I was more nervous this day than yesterday. But there I was… trying to be conceal the nervousness that I was feeling. I felt like luck was really trying to play with me because before I start my presentation, I experienced some technical problems like there was no internet connection in the PC, my presentation not playing and the video attached to my presentation is not showing!!!! As I flick my presentation from 1 slide to the next one, the more that my heart is beating so loud, my knees started to shake and my sweat starting to fall. There was even a time where in I don’t know what I’m saying anymore because I just hear my heart beat. For the first time after a long time, I got scared with presenting in front of people…

I went out of the room not satisfied with what I did… and I know they was able to feel it… this is more than just a promotion to me…this is a fight that I want to end up winning because it’s one way of me telling HIV that “hey! even though you’re inside me, I am still good!, I can still get promoted!” shallow right? But it means a lot to me….
the results will be given tomorrow… wish me luck?

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An Invitation – YOGA LOCA

Posted in etc, friends, Medical, Personal, pozzie life with tags , , , , , , on August 27, 2010 by iamhivpositive

Hi,

You ready to Yoga with your Tanga? ^__^

I am inviting you guys to join YOGA LOCA… it is the YOGA for the FABULOUSLY GAY, and the GAY FABULOUS!

If you are interested… please feel free to contact the number in the poster….

Thank you!

xoxo,
JunJun

I realized…

Posted in etc, lovelife, Music, Personal, pozzie life with tags , , , , , , , on August 16, 2010 by iamhivpositive

Met up with babe awhile ago for lunch before I head to SAGIP for my check up… I told him a lot of happy stories that is happening to me… to let him know there’s no need to worry and that I am fine… I asked him how he was… he told me he is now seeing someone new… I smiled… at first, it didn’t hurt… but as we go our separate ways… the pain started eating my heart…

(For some reason, the video is not loading so I’ll just post the lyrics of the song…)

It never crossed my mind at all
That’s what I tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You’re better off with someone else
It’s for the best, I know it is
But I see you
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside

And I turn around
You’re with him now
I just can’t figure it out

Tell me why
You’re so hard to forget
Don’t remind me
I’m not over it
Tell me why
I can’t seem to face the truth
I’m just a little too not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)
Not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)

Memories
Supposed to fade
What’s wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn’t think it be this hard
Should be strong
Moving on
But I see you
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside

And I turn around
You’re with him now
I just can’t figure it out

Tell me why
You’re so hard to forget
Don’t remind me
I’m not over it
Tell me why
I can’t seem to face the truth
I’m just a little too not over you

Maybe I regret
Everything I said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now I’m on my own
How I let you go
I’ll never understand
I’ll never understand
Yeah, oooh, oooh, oooh
Oooooooh
Oh
Ooooh, oh

Tell me why
You’re so hard to forget
Don’t remind me
I’m not over it
Tell me why
I can’t seem to face the truth
I’m just a little too not over you

Tell me why
You’re so hard to forget
Don’t remind me
I’m not over it
Tell me why
I can’t seem to face the truth
And I really don’t know what to do

I’m just a little too not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)
Not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)

Catch Up!

Posted in etc, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , , , on August 5, 2010 by iamhivpositive

You must be wondering how I was this past few days as I have not been updating any entries lately… Well, let me update you…

First, I’m in heat.  Yes, I’m horny.  It’s just 2 weeks ago when I started feeling it again.  I don’t feel satisfied with my hand anymore. lol.

I remember a conversation that I had with GM.  I told him that I am confident that I can just be satisfied with my hand.  I was planning to DIY it for a very long time as I am scared to have a physical contact with someone.  But I think I’m going to eat my words… I don’t think I can still hold it for any longer. 

I am nervous. 

2 of my officemates resigned from our office and so their positions are being opened to us, their juniors.  I am the most tenured in our group so I think I am expected to apply, actually, I want to apply.  However, as the interview and the presentation comes closer, I feel more nervous.  What if I don’t get the post?  Oh my, I think I will cry for 3 days and go to work with a cover in my face.  I think that will be quite shameful since I am considered to be the most experienced one… I think. lol.

I moved on.

It has been 3 months already, since babe and I broke up.  Meaning, we are free to date again since we already gotten through the “3 month break up rule”.  Well, I haven’t heard anything from him lately and vice versa.  I think we both know that we both need space from each other.  I just really hope that he is happy.

I am… inspired?

Someone is making me smile this past few days.  Not because he is telling me jokes but because he makes my heart wiggle. lol.  I don’t want to assume anything and I don’t want to rush things so I am enjoying everything.  Besides, it will still be 2 years from now before we see each other.  Yes, you read it right, I only know/seen him through pictures.  But it’s not a big deal, I think I can wait. So, if you read this, let wait ah? hehehe. 

That’s it for now… I’ll be updating you again soon…

xoxo,

JunJun

Envy

Posted in etc, friends, Personal, pozzie life, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , on July 20, 2010 by iamhivpositive

I saw a friend in the pantry of our office. He was buying iced tea from the vendo machine when I approached him. Let’s call him, RN, since he is also a registered nurse. As you can see now, most of my friends are in the medical field. We are working in the same company however I think it has been more than a month since I last saw him. I missed him.

There was a very huge smile on his face when he caught my eyes. His eyes were…. twinkling? I can tell he was very happy. Curious unto why the twinkling eyes, I ran towards him. He asked me how I was and why he hasn’t seen me around. I told him I am working in the early mid-shift and so he understand. I asked him about his smile and his blooming aura… he spilled that he is now seeing someone. I smiled. Atlast! This very choosy friend of mine finally decided to exclusively date someone. I asked him for details and as he was happily telling me everything… I felt something else… I was… envious?

The smile on my face disappeared but I tried to put it back. Why am I envious?

My wondering was interupted when he told me to look for the his date’s profile in facebook. I immediately obliged and checked it out since he said he also needs to go back and take calls. I went back to our tiny office and clicked on Mozilla and went straight to facebook. I searched for my friends profile and searched his date from there. He was right, he is cute. They will totally look good together, I am genuinely happy for him. Then, I felt it again. Envy.

I took a deep breath, I am envious because I know that It will take me a long time again before I can date someone. Especially in my condition…. honesty is my no. 1 rule when it comes to relationship or even dating and I think that It will take sometime… or maybe it will never happen…

I took another deep breath and cleared my mind. What am I thinking? Why am I thinking about dating and having a relationship again when I was just got out from one? I smiled. I guess I am just being a pessimist again. I shook my head. I have to be optimist. I know that in the right time, our path’s will cross… he might even be reading this blog right now… ( hahahaha! ) But if it will not happen, it’s ok… I am receiving a lot of love anyways… hehe. I guess I should just be contented with that… right?

If others can wait, so can I… lol.

let’s stay happy… negative vibes away! lol.

Vitamin E with Selenium

Posted in etc, Medical, pozzie life with tags , , , , , , , on July 19, 2010 by iamhivpositive

I was advised by Trese to take Vitamin E with Selenium instead of Myra E… so last Sunday, I went to Mercury Drug and bought a month’s supply of it. I also researched about it and here is what I found out:

Facts About Selenium

In order to understand the benefits of selenium, it is important to first understand the facts about selenium.

Selenium is a trace element found in soil, and is required in small amounts to maintain good health. It is essential for many body processes and is present in nearly every cell but especially in the kidneys, liver, spleen, testes, and pancreas.

Selenium acts as an antioxidant against free radicals that damage
our DNA. It is often included with Vitamins C and E to help fight against cancer, heart disease and even aging. It has also been used to fight viral infections and may even slow the progression of AIDS/HIV. Selenium also contributes to good health by promoting normal liver function.

Other benefits of selenium include the protection against heart disease, the protection against toxic minerals, and the neutralisation of alcohol, smoke, and fats. It can help to increase male potency and it also involved in the maintenance of hair, skin and eyes.

Remain In Good Health with the Benefits Of Selenium

Selenium may be useful in preventing cataracts and muscular degeneration, the leading causes of impaired vision or blindness in older Americans. It is also vital for converting thyroid hormone, which is needed for the proper functioning of every cell in the body, from a less active form (called T4) to its active form (known as T3). In addition, selenium is essential for a healthy immune system, assisting the body in defending itself against harmful bacteria and viruses, as well as cancer cells. Its immune-boosting effects may play a role in fighting the herpes virus that is responsible for cold sores and shingles, and it is also being studied for possible effectiveness against HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

When combined with vitamin E, selenium appears to have some anti-inflammatory benefits as well. These two nutrients may improve chronic conditions such as rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis, lupus, and eczema.

source: http://www.nutritional-supplements-health-guide.com/benefits-of-selenium.html

When Love Takes Over

Posted in etc, Music with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 15, 2010 by iamhivpositive

Hi,

Just want to share to you my LSS for tonight… =)

Nope, I’m not inlove or anything… I just like the way the song goes…

Goodnight,
xoxo,
JunJun